The long road, Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Du hast, Weiner Schnitzel

RAMMSTEIN

Her name is "Beastie" and we have a long road ahead together.

In February of 2020 I bought my landscaping construction truck. There it sat in our driveway all shiny and new, a glimmer of hope that “It’s really happening!” We were on the road to changing our environment. Still a long hard road ahead, but it had started. 2 weeks later and the ‘pandemic’ hit. Stocks plummeted and the “nest egg” that took years of hard work and sacrifice was reduced to a fraction of the original. I felt like a failure and lived with such guilt (and some anger too), thinking that I had failed us! This was a gutting blow.

But there was no turning back. The plan was already in motion and it was still the only way I saw for our environment to change and growth to be possible. Despite having gone into debt to secure the equipment, the year was a success and passed the test to see whether or not we could start dreaming of working for ourselves.

The Set Up! and dumping at "Donkey's" Farm

All front line workers were put through a very difficult year. Narc at the bank was no different. Everyone knows the story, so I’m not going to repeat it here. I bet it might even be triggering for some. Some may have blocked the memory of that year out. I know I partially have. It was so emotionally and psychologically oppressive. For Narc this was no different, her perseverance and stamina unwavering. It must’ve been hard watching me truck around in a version of freedom many were dreaming of. I believed her when she said she was happy for me. Conscious of her struggle at work I made an extra effort to be a sounding board for venting her frustrations. I had hoped that my positivity would keep us going long enough until the whole mess was over.

Being disconnected with no visits to family and friends was also a big blow for her. I on the other hand am not social, except for campfires, bbq’s and a good game of poker. So I think I had a much easier time of being isolated. We also couldn't go out for dinner (just like everyone else) and unfortunately this is something Narc really enjoyed doing.

We did have an addition to the family that year. A little Weiner dog named Pepper. It had taken years for Narc to convince me to get a dog. Firstly, I knew they were expensive and therefore would be working against our long term freedom. An acreage perhaps where many doggies could run around. Fully integrated honesty: something in the back of my mind was scared of being jealous of the affection the dog would get. I was already hanging on by threads.

But in an instant this little puppy stole daddy’s heart. There was no way she was going to sleep in the crate. “Come and cuddle up with me in bed “ I will keep you safe, and protect you.” She was so tiny and absolutely adorable. I bonded with her so deeply that down the road we had little conversations!

Note: “See you down the road somewhere, it’s alright. Alright?…” is the the most meaningful sentence at a music concert I’ve ever had the privilege of being a part of. It’s thanks to Narc that I went to these concerts.

Winter was still an issue up here in Canada. The ground freezes and my kind of construction is all about earth moving. With a shiny new snow plow and a beast of a truck, all I had to do was fill up my snow plow route.

Something bothered me that November, I started hearing a ringing in my ears. (Remember cutting cars at the scrapyard with a noisy reciprocating saw?) Well ok, it didn’t bother me that much yet and so I swept it under the rug. More on that later… For now, I was still too excited to finally have our chance at freedom in life. Onwards and upwards.